It's always the emptiness, sorrow and loneliness i see in you. Someone told me that it seems like you had lost something.
O-Town
All or Nothing
I know when he's been on your mind.
That distant look is in your eyes
I thought with time you'd realize it's over, over
It's not the way I choose to live
And something somewhere's gotta give
As sharing in this relationship gets older, older
You know I'd fight for you but how could I fight someone who isn't even there
I've had the rest of you now I want the best of you
I don't care if that's not fair
Cuz I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all
There are time it seems to me
I'm sharing you with memories
I feel it in my heart but I don't show it , show it
Then there's times you look at me
As though I'm all that you could see
Those times I don't believe it's right I know it , know it
Don't make me promises baby you never did know how to keep them well
I had the rest of you now I want the best of you it's time to show and tell
Cuz I want it all
Or nothing at all
I failed my E-math! But i passed my D & T!! HURRAY!! This is something to be called for a celebration. I failed 1st common test and mid-year for D & T LA. But i passed it, at last. (:
Went to KAP with Jieying, Kelvin Lim and Yunye to study. I studied ok! A-math.. I know i'm gonna flung it but must put in effort! I worked and listened real hard just now. And i'm bushed! ByeBye!
I'm alright. I'm fine. I'm absolutely ok!
Don't worry.
To the special one:
Thank you for EVERYTHING you had given me. Thank you for the memories. Thank you for your care and concern. Thank you for being so forgiving. Thank you for loving me. But i can't give you all these anymore.
Even when you are gone, i know you are still with me, cause you never failed to be there when i need you. You have been the closest person to me for 17 months but now you are gone, i don't know where i should head for, i don't know what's my next step. I don't know why i'm grieving when i'm the one who had done you wrong.
But maybe this is the chance whereby i could know how much i need and want you and learn to love you again. It's always the sense of insecurity, confusion and grief i see in you. I'm sorry that i've been the source of your problem. I'm sorry for not knowing how to treasure and love you as much as you do. I'm sorry for everything. You must know that you've NEVER been a hindrance to me. You always got me moving on.
Even though i know i'm gonna miss you, and i'm gonna regret for what i've done, but this is the best way out for us. I hope.
You are the greatest person to me. There's no one in my life cares and loves me so much except for you. I'm sure of that. But the one who loves me the most is the one i hurt most. I'm always holding on to this slightest glimmer of hope that i can be who i used to be; the one who loved you as much as you do. But i will never learn to treasure unless i lose that special thing to me. That's human eh? But i don't want anything from you anymore. You gave me so much, in fact, more than what i deserved.
Let's take this as a new beginning for us. I believe so, cause i know this is the only way to make me realise how much i really really need you. And maybe so, i will learn.
I still can't accept the truth that we are no longer together. I'm so used to your companionship, your perfume, your laughter, your gimmick, your stubbornness, your 'theory', your everything.
I want the smile on your face again. And i swear i would draw hundreds and thousands of rainbows just to see the smile. Perhaps i will be back to you one day, provided that i'm ready and sure of my love for you and you still give me that chance.
You make me a better person, you make me realised how important every single little thing is in my life. You have shown the best in me.
Goodbye my lover.
The song 'Heavily broken' is playing in my mind right now and it's exactly how i'm feeling. But someone is feeling worse than me right now. Who's to blame but me? I really don't know what i want, and what to do. It's hard holding on to a relationship which is hanging on a thread, but it's never easy to say goodbye.
Happy 17th month!!! :D
ii LuRrBsS EeeUuu WorRxX.
HAHAHA.
Great! I'm gonna flung the 4 papers! English, Social Studies, E-math, Chinese. Ok, perhaps i won't fail chinese but will get unexpectedly LOW marks! It's alright. It's over! No point brooding over it. So, gotta study hard for my Science, D & T, elective Geography and A-math (though i know i will fail it). Sigh..
Watched My super ex-girlfriend with Jieying and Fahrun just now. It's kinda lame la. But i was entertained. It should be rated NC-16! hahaha. I know Jieying loves it. Several scenes of intimacy. And there's G-girl! What does the 'G' stands for? Gorgeous? Goddess? Or G-SPOT?!?
Study hard LA! S.H.E/Twins/L3 ,whatsoever shit.
Greetings! Sigh. Poor Mr Beh. There are always few blacksheeps in a group, house or class. Sad to say, my class has alot. They are total Bastards. They think they are great but they suck to the core. Always try to be funny, think that the thing they said is funny but they are just making a fool out of themselves. These are the dumbest people. Teachers are like our second 'parents', so at least respect them. Arseholes!
Anyway, mummy bought Hooch for me! I was kinda lethargic 30 mins ago, but i told my sister, alcoholic/alcohol makes me sober! And it really does! I'm watching Singapore idol right now.
Enjoy!
Tomorrow's first paper..
Hey people! Miss me? HAHAHA. I know you do. x)
Basically, i went to see sinseh again. It's old injury, so, it's not a laughing matter anymore. He said NO cold drinks, but i can't help la.
Went to Starbucks to STUDY. You are a fool if you believe! 2 more days to first paper! I'm dead man.
I want to clarify something. Nobody is perfect! Get it? God is great, but i believe he's not perfect too! I also believe God makes mistakes too. He may be the one closest to perfection, but still, he's not perfect! So don't expect US, the mortal to be perfect, or TRY to be perfect. NONSENSE!
Geography lessons were fun. Eating, throwing paper and shuttercock, passing tubes around, throwing sweets/chocolate. Does it even sound like attending a lesson? Peiqi has new name for Girish, you can call him ' Rose Belle', 'Rosey', 'Rose', 'Belle' whatever. And i guess the 2 PeirongS can't meet or can't be together! They will wreak havoc wherever they are when they go crazy.
This morning during english lessons, Miss Fizah got ALL of those who did not get the class test signed to GET OUT of the class as she said she doesn't want to see our bloody faces. Guess there were 13 people? And out of the 13, 5 are SL? She said we don't fit to be SL at that moment. So took off our pins. At first, she wanted us to get the class test signed by 5 pm. And a compo of 350 words by don't know when la. But she thinks that it will tire us out. So, no more compo! I didn't bring my comprehension LA! And my phone was charging in the class. Gosh! It freaked me out.
Seriously, teachers think that WE the SLs are perfect la. Everything must be perfect, attires, attitude, studies. It's total Bullshit la! Nobody is perfect man! Most important thing is to learn from our mistakes lo. And not punish punish and punish. Darn it!
I can walk normally now!! Woohooo. But have difficulties walking down the stairs , i will limp.
Daddy wants to go to China with mummy this october, so went to Suntec to see the SA fair. I tried my best to psycho him to go Melbourne, Sydney or New Zealand. I suggested to go EUROPE too! But guess that will happen in my dream for now. And after being psycho-ed by me, WE ARE GOING TO MELBOURNE next year. And i'm gonna say NO MORE CHINA! I hate that place. I rather go to Sentosa LA!
After confirming to go China, we went to eat Joaquim. It's a Buffet Restaurant, and you will be served a small steamboat each. It's not that impressive though. But better than nothing. Must think of the people in Africa.
GET IT?
Hey people! First of all, i want to thank all the people who have ME in their minds. Least they had sent regards to me! Thank you, guys. I hope you guys ain't like Desmond Lim, worried that i might not be going to school on monday and he would bored to death, but he only cares about Mentos!!! Afraid that he won't get any sweets! Heartless! Anyway, my ankle is better. (:
I was/am studying. Basically, the chemistry textbook IS infront of me, but i'm resting LA. But i will return to it later, i guess. Will be catching Arsenal vs Aston villa later at 9.55pm, channel 23. Fahrun wants me to see how Arsenal's gonna win. Well, let's see.
I'm off. To STUDY.
It was Girls' Inter-house Basketball just now. I'm so damn sad LA! Played so hard in the first game which was against Jaguar. At first, the score was like Shit la. Then it became 18-18! Omg. No choice but had to shoot Free throw. At the end, we lost by ONE point! It's damn saddening can. But, Yuhong, i'm not angry but i'm just disappointed, very very very disappointed. But it's ok. Although we lost but WE did our best! I really have to say a BIG 'thank you' to all the Cougar girls who had participated. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU GIRLS!! And i realised Seok ting and i make great partner! (;
Talk about me then. I've sprained my ankle! Gosh. It's sooooooo painful LA! Went to see sinseh and it's getting more and more painful. But i believe it will get better soon. I hope.
Anyway, Congratulations to Puma! Congratulations to Jaguar too! :D
I feel so lethargic! I don't know why. Everything seems to be going through my mind. 2 years and 8 months in Dunearn Basketball. Gosh! Everything seems so fucken irritating to me now! Yes, EVERYTHING. Darn it! It sucks. You may not understand what i'm saying, you don't have to anyway.
Jonathan put eyeliner!! Goodness. He looked kinda sissy but he looked! He sounds so MAN! He has a Sexy voice.
Let's talk about my Notebook. I have the same Notebook as Yuhong, but hers has Dinosaurs on the cover page and mine has lizard (i DETEST lizards) on the cover page. Then, she started to get lame. She said:"you can tell your lizards at home that they've got a new friend!ha and they will all start appearing on your notebook, saying, 'hello, lizard 104,' " Gosh! I will definitely throw away that lovely Notebook of mine if lizards really start to appear.
OK! Study! (;
Dexter helped us to buy the Fila Basketball pants. The stocks had stopped but don't know where he got it. Who cares, WE love it! And there's only S size, Jieying kept insisting that she can wear, well, who knows, maybe she really can? Haha, TOO BAD.
Had P.E today. Played Badminton, team up with Desmond and played against Jian xiang and Poyi. We would shout: YEAH!! whenever our opponents couldn't hit the cock. haha. Fun indeed.
D&T lessons are getting more and more interesting. Mr Toh told us about the Bisexual flag. Well, there's alot of things to say, if you want to know, come and ask me! haha. He kept emphasized that we must not criticize them, cause they are still human. And maybe they can't help it. And he also told us that we must always be humble, cause we always act as if we know lots of thing but in fact, we don't. We need to see the how the world goes. We should see the outside world.
Had training, it rained, so didn't run cross-country. Shoot Balls, 3 passes, and ran 9 ovals! I HATE TO RUN!!! And i finally got too tired that i couldn't bother more. That's it.
I was supposed to post yesterday but i was too engrossed in the Philips Cup that i didnt bother to post anymore. So, will briefly talk about yesterday. Had training, ran 2 rounds of cross-country! Gosh, i cant believe that i actually finished running 2 rounds. I simply hate to run man. And im so happy to say that im injured! Haha. Coach Michael was like: she's mad and sadistic la. Haha. YES. im a sadist, but not really la, just that i seldom get injured and finally i have some wounds! Today- stayed at home for the whole day, watched Philips Cup, napped, ate dinner and here i am, posting! 11 more days to 1st paper, but i haven't start revising. HOW? Haha. Wish me luck people. (:
YEAH!! i have a blog at last! well. went to Starbucks to study with Fahrun in the afternoon,and i ate two Bagel! Yum. it's so nice!! went home for steamboat and then to Kallang to watch fireworks with my family and Fahrun. Man, it's AWESOME. it's like golds falling from the sky,if only it's gold LA. people please dont blame me, this is my first time blogging, so it's kinda boring eh? sorry. haha. :D
Anyway, thanks yuhong!